Mansplaining Quennet

Tags

euphemism, Father of Lies, generic, mansplaining, quennet, rhetoric, smokescreen

Females also guilty – should be ‘Mankindsplaining!’ (New generic?)

 

Hot air   forked tongues   terminal inexactitudes

filthy whitewash

tranparent smokescreens   inexcusable excuses   unmitigated untruths

hollow rants

iniquitous insinuations  criminal understatements  overblown rhetoric

smooth sham

Father of Lies

sweeping evasions

Master of Deceit

euphemistic gloss

hyperbolic tirades

Hath God said?

rash incitements

hollow rhetoric   smooth tongues  transparent excuses

iniquitous inexactitudes

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Guernsey Guidelines

Tags

Fishing Regulations, Full Moon, Guernsey, haliotis tuberculata, Lihou, Lissroy, New Moon, ormers, Sark, snorkelling

Poetic ordinance regarding the Fishing Guidelines for

harvesting of certain shellfish in Guernsey and, for all I

know Sark too!

 

Haliotis tuberculata (not a nice name!)

Photo by Hans Hillewaert, Creative Commons attrib.

 

You must not collect

ormers, except on days of

the Full, or New Moon

and two others between

January 1st and

April the 30th.

 

This is a mere guide.

Please contact Sea Fisheries

for further information.

Don’t take the small ones.

In your possession you may

have cooked, pickled ones,

but eschew the deep frozen

and don’t cull while snorkelling.

 

If submerged partially,

it’s still a no-no.

The onus of proof is yours

to show innocence.

If you’re dining on a boat,

you’ll have to prove that

you didn’t dive for ormers.

(What the heck is an ormer?)

Anyway, don’t shuck them.

As for exporting –

except the cultivated –

only with permission

from Sea Fisheries!

Don’t even think about it.

That goes for importing too.

 

Please return the rocks

to their original sites.

Move crabs aside and

don’t stamp on fragile creatures.

Don’t frighten roosting

birds at Lihou, or Lissroy.

 

Park where you’re told

and take your rubbish with you.

Beware of the incoming

tides.  Don’t get stranded.

Do not degrade habitats;

minimise impact.

Apart from that, try to have

a relaxing holiday!

Salisbury Collage

Tags

collage, found objects, poisoning, Salisbury, Skripal, spy, subliminal, trefoil radiation symbol

I have never noticed that there is a kind of ionising radiation

trefoil symbol on one of the buildings in the roofscape.  Unintentional,

I’m sure.  In line with ‘found objects’ and the subliminal, I only saw it after

I had pasted it on!

 

 

 

 

Collage with Lipstick Background

Tags

dalmations, Deco jewellery, Edwardian society, Jeremy Corbyn, Stalin

I painted the background in Lipstick, or Bordello Red.  It gave the

whole thing a decadent, seedy look and I managed to add Jeremy Corbyn,

Stalin and some Dalmations to the original.  Don’t ask me why!

Neighbourliness Sestina

Tags

AA, antidote, Audi, Chinos, do-gooding, Hazmat, neighbourliness, nerve agent, rogue state, Samaritan, sestina

The lawyer asked Him: Who is my neighbour?

He said, I’ll offer moral assistance.

Nowadays you’re out at work and ignore

those who live opposite, or alongside.

One day you spot someone in a bad state,

lying in their drive, but you’re in a rush.

 

Lawyer:

I’m late to pick the kids up, so must rush.

It’s bound to be dealt with by a neighbour,

so I’ll spring into my Audi estate.

That nosy woman will give assistance –

the one who draws her curtains to one side.

A chance for do-gooding, she won’t ignore.

 

I should ring up the police, but just ignore

those dodgy callers, who seemed in a rush

and annoyed me by parking on my side:

too many visitors for one neighbour!

They doubtless gave him hefty assistance

with his mortgage.  (He comes from a rogue state.)

 

Him:

You’ve claimed you’re public-spirited, but state

your character through your actions; ignore

the twitching corpse in his drive.  Assistance!

Who helped to dig you out when in a rush?

Lawyer:

It was the man from the AA.  Neighbour?

Getting involved can just be suicide.

 

And, if I go over and kneel beside

this loser; feel his pulse, what kind of state

will my Chinos end up in?  This ‘neighbour’

could contaminate me; I should ignore

his plight. A family man’s in no rush

to inhale nerve agents.  Police assistance –

 

or, perhaps paramedic assistance…

they’ll have Hazmats and antidotes beside.

Where angels fear to tread they’re known to rush.

Samaritans don’t live on this estate!

Him:

So, walk on by is what you’ll do; ignore

the parlous condition of your neighbour?

 

Lawyer:

Rush to his side?  No, not for one’s neighbour.

To ignore the perils of assistance

is for citizens of another state.

Mad Edwardian Collage

Tags

collage, Edwardian, Klee, Toulouse Latrec

Expulsion from Eden – after Chagall

Tags

Adam & Eve, Chagall, Eden, watercolour

Galanthus Sophie North

Tags

cordite, cultivar, Dr Stevens, Dunblane Massacre, Galanthamine, Galanthus Sophie North, hybrid, milkflower, Pluto, Snowdrop campaign, White Witch

A poem about The Snowdrop Campaign which was launched

after the Dunblane Shootings in 1996.  Sophie was one of the

victims. A snowdrop was named after her and the group

campaigned to have private ownership of hand guns banned.

 

March in Perthshire and The White Witch still ruled.

Pure snowdrops had just emerged in gardens

and gardeners bent low, to hear them say,

We’re harbingers: Spring is on its way.

 

And so it was in the town of Dunblane,

when Dr Stevens lifted up white heads

that hung down, she saw a new creation,

but The Prince of Glory did not come in.

 

The gates were unlocked; the infants at school

and, in three minutes, sixteen were mown down

and Sophie North dragged to Pluto’s world.

Would a thaw come to this sad, frozen town?

 

A bitter smell tinctured its empty streets:

a sharp cordite/ galanthus suffusion.

The cultivar was given that child’s name,

yet people swore that Spring would never come,

 

but caritas, like a papery corm,

did take root and broke through iron soil.

Inside frail petals, some perceived a cross;

slowly hope spread, like seeds by unseen ants.

 

And Sophie’s father tucked her in once more,

under a white duvet.  Hybrid vigour

brought renewal; many were moved to say:

the gods are deathless; all is in their power.

 

The precious seed that fell into the ground

fertilised the Earth; something new was born:

Galanthamine, to heal all tortured minds.

A girl named Wisdom, mild as the milkflower,

stands before those who’d bear arms and pleads so

all children can walk on carpets of stars.

 

No-Win Situations

Tags

An Account of my Hut, choka, Hojoki, Kamono

(Wikipedia:  Kamo no Chomei by Kikuchi Yosai)

 

Poem based on the above’s An Account of My Hut:

 

If you live next door

to the wealthy, you will be

mostly uneasy,

for you will have to tone down

your own highs and lows,

or become a sycophant,

in the knowledge that

you are not even rated.

If you live in town,

there are disadvantages

and, in the country,

public transport is lacking.

You can’t win as thieves like both

isolation and big crowds.

A List of Irritating Things

Tags

angst, Iyo blind, mansplaining, manspreading, Pillow Book, selfie

Based on The Pillow Book, but in poetic form!

 

When the Iyo blind

is released with a rattle;

not lifting a door

before giving it a push,

thus making a noise;

twits who butt in: it is just

their self-promotion!

Irritating men who leave

the toilet seat up, or who

man-spread, or mansplain;

those who are selfie-obsessed,

or angst about their butt size.