It’s Not Coming Home

Tags

Benjamin's sack, Croatians, diptych, football, Henry Bolingbroke, Joseph, King Edward, King Richard, livery badge, martlet, Pope, Revenge Parliament, shrines, St George, WAGS, Wilton diptych, World Cup

Viewing The Wilton Diptych on the Day England Realised

‘It [wasn’t] coming home.’

 

 

 

 

We knelt with King Richard – supplicated;

wanted to wave that pennant of St George,

which was frustratingly just out of reach.

There was no revolt; the ‘peasants’ behaved.

Why did the Virgin reward Croatians?

Why did Henry Bolingbroke take the crown?

Why is the Pope a Catholic?

 

All our hearts were couchant and chained today.

The shock of failure was epiphanal.

Our livery badge was the three lions.

The angel team seemed to be in clover,

while we were brought to our knees in wasteland.

 

After four years the Revenge Parliament

will sit.  We will challenge hollow power.

Our heraldic past was manufactured –

attributed, as Edward’s martlet shield.

Our feet seemed to be made of feathers

like the little birds thereon depicted.

 

Shrines and treasures are often portable

and they can be exchanged across countries,

like trophy WAGS.  We would have kissed the feet

of anyone who’d helped us win the cup;

not let it pass from us

into some thieving Benjamin’s rucksack.

With sainted management behind us, we,

like Joseph, will recover the chalice.

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Eat Your Greens

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Brassica, broccoli, John Lewis, Samsung

 

But not that big a portion!

 

Image from Samsung Television in John Lewis store

Chillin’ at Buscot Park

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bubbles, Buscot Park, Cotswolds, fountain, frog, waterlilies

This gallery contains 3 photos.

Inspiration for Artistic Types

Tags

organic tea, poetic inspiration, quatrain

I’ll drink to that!  (As seen in Canberra)

Photo candiacomesclean.wordpress.com

Hare today….

Tags

Buscot House, Cotswolds arts, hare, Sculpture

 

gone tomorrow?

Photo: candiacomesclean.wordpress.com

Oxford Man Matches Milieu

Tags

lilacs, Oxford, style

Photo copyright: candiacomesclean.wordpress

The Pangolin

Tags

gizzard, keratin, pangolin, pangopups, Prince William, stenophagy

 

Pangolin – nothing to do with penguin,

porcupine, furniture polish, mandolin.

It’s got no fur, feather, wingspan, or fin.

 

So, you’ve never heard of a pangolin?

It’s a mammal, covered in keratin.

Keratin? – a protection for its skin.

 

When it sniffs food, it gives a little sneeze

and it walks just as if it’s got knock knees,

looking like a dinosaur, if you please.

 

You’ve never seen one?  Well, that is because

they scrabble at night with very sharp claws

and their tongues flick termites into their jaws.

 

You’ve never smelled a pangolin, have you?

You wouldn’t want to, ’cause they pong like poo,

but – hey! – they might not like the smell of you!

 

They come from Africa, The Philippines,

Vietnam, Laos, Sri Lanka… it seems

bad men turn them into medicines.

 

Pangolins don’t like to be touched: not much!

They’ll try to avoid a predator’s clutch

and will hide in a hollow tree, or such.

 

 

If they are scared, they’ll roll into a ball.

They like their own company – that is all.

Big cats will just paw them and let them fall.

 

Curled up, they can look like an artichoke;

they won’t even move, if given a poke.

Fast asleep, they don’t take it as a joke.

 

Arboreal ones will hang from their tails.

Pangopups ride on the backs of females.

They’re covered in all these cute little scales.

 

 

You used to see pangolins in a zoo,

but nowadays there are only a few.

They value their freedom, the same as you!

 

They’re fussy feeders – their stenophagy*

means that they will only eat two, or three

types of termites, so it isn’t easy

 

to please a pangolin.  Yes, some have tried,

with worms and crickets and larvae, deep-fried,

but the pangolins turned up their toes and died.

 

So, if you’re offered one, do not buy it.

They only feed on their special diet.

They are not pets – so, don’t even try it!

 

I don’t want you to taste a pangolin.

You know, it would be a terrible sin

to eat animals who face extinction.

 

A pangolin has no teeth to bite you.

Its long, sticky tongue is coated with glue.

It swallows stones, which you should never do!

 

Apparently, it aids their digestion.

‘Quite how?’ would be a very good question.

Look up ‘the gizzard’ is my suggestion.

 

They’ve been around for 80 million years,

but now conservationists have raised fears

that, if we don’t help them, they’ll disappear.

 

 

Join Prince William, His Royal Highness –

try to look on all wildlife with kindness,

whether pangolin, leopard, or lioness.

 

Pangolin, we have caused you much offence.

Your armour was given you for defence;

now we pledge to protect your existence.

 

drawings and text copyright- Candia Dixon- Stuart, 2018.

 

 

 

* a narrow range of diet

May- the month or the blossom?

Tags

coat dress, Drize-a-Bone, May blossom, proverb, swagman, winter wardrobe

 

My grandmother used to say,  Never cast a cloot till May is oot.

This, being translated, is tantamount to advising that one should

not strip off, or put one’s winter wardrobe away until… until

1.  The May blossom is in evidence

OR

2)  the month of May is past

 

Which is it?  In Scotland it is probably never a good idea to dispense with a

layer, whatever the time of year, or whatever plant is making its presence

felt.

Above is a photo of the May blossom in my garden yesterday.  I compromised by

wearing a coat dress – ha!  Today I would have needed a Drize-a Bone Aussie

head-to-toe proofed swagman garment.

It’s a wonder there’s any blossom left on the trees after this morning’s deluge!

Stinkhorn

Tags

mushrooms, Phallus impudicus, Stinkhorns

Look what popped up on our grass verge today – Phallus impudicus, to be

precise.

Also known as Stinkhorn.

Wish I hadn’t asked the gardener what it was.  No wonder his face was red

as he denied all knowledge of it!

Guernsey Guidelines

Tags

Fishing Regulations, Full Moon, Guernsey, haliotis tuberculata, Lihou, Lissroy, New Moon, ormers, Sark, snorkelling

Poetic ordinance regarding the Fishing Guidelines for

harvesting of certain shellfish in Guernsey and, for all I

know Sark too!

 

Haliotis tuberculata (not a nice name!)

Photo by Hans Hillewaert, Creative Commons attrib.

 

You must not collect

ormers, except on days of

the Full, or New Moon

and two others between

January 1st and

April the 30th.

 

This is a mere guide.

Please contact Sea Fisheries

for further information.

Don’t take the small ones.

In your possession you may

have cooked, pickled ones,

but eschew the deep frozen

and don’t cull while snorkelling.

 

If submerged partially,

it’s still a no-no.

The onus of proof is yours

to show innocence.

If you’re dining on a boat,

you’ll have to prove that

you didn’t dive for ormers.

(What the heck is an ormer?)

Anyway, don’t shuck them.

As for exporting –

except the cultivated –

only with permission

from Sea Fisheries!

Don’t even think about it.

That goes for importing too.

 

Please return the rocks

to their original sites.

Move crabs aside and

don’t stamp on fragile creatures.

Don’t frighten roosting

birds at Lihou, or Lissroy.

 

Park where you’re told

and take your rubbish with you.

Beware of the incoming

tides.  Don’t get stranded.

Do not degrade habitats;

minimise impact.

Apart from that, try to have

a relaxing holiday!