Six Clerihews of the Moment

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Angela Rayner, Boris Johnson, clerihew, House of Commons, Keir Starmer, Lynne Truss, Pm's Question Time, Rishi Sunak, Satire

Lynne Truss,

What an embarrassing fuss!

She confused the Baltic and Black Sea.

Does she have Geography GCSE?

Boris Johnson, PM,

from whom the Tory Party and the country’s troubles stem,

knows all about ‘tragic miscalculation[s]’

and is woefully inept at international relations.

Angela Rayner,

lover of the biker boot and trainer,

called the Conservatives ‘scum.’

Maybe, some think, she wasn’t quite so dumb?

Keir Starmer,

we’d be misled if we called him a charmer-

inadvertently, or not, the Scots crofter was hot.

His principled stand eclipsed the whole lot.*

(in some people’s opinion)

Jacob Rees-Mogg,

Princeling of Pettifog?

Is that a silver spoon in the pocket of your pantaloon,

or are you pleased to see us, that you may bestow a boon?

Rishi Sunak.

is giving us £200 back.

‘Now, don’t bite the hand that feeds you,’ he may say.

No, we’ll leave that till the Election Day.

A Clerihew For Our Times

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Beckett, clerihew, Mrs May

Oh, Mrs May,

what are we to do when there’s only one day

left, until we’re floundering,

jusqu’aux cous in merde; unable to sing?

 

 

Dilly-Dallying?

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Abel Martinez, clerihew, Dali, DNA, Port Ligat, Van Vechten photographs

(Carl Van Vechten, photographer. 

Library of Congress.  Wikipedia)

 

Salvador Dali,

Maria Pilar Abel Martinez claims that you got pally

with her mother at Port Ligat.

The DNA sample should sort out that.

WASPI Women Stung by a Gnat

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clerihew, Guy Opperman, mess of pottage, pensions Waspi women

 

(Guy Opperman MP)

 

Mr Opperman,

seems like you’d send out your gran

to shovel up your bull **** in her dotage,

because government denies her a mess of pottage.

Holy Cow!

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Adam Wst, Batman, caped crusader, clerihew, dynamic duo

 

Adam West,

caped crusader, – in peace may you rest.

We need a dynamic duo to rescue us right now,

for our present leaders…… Holy cow!

Rump Parliament

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Bojo, Boris Johnson, clerihew, Corbyn, Rump Parliament

(Boris Johnson, Secy of State for Foreign and

Commonwealth Affairs, 2016.  http://www.gov.uk)

 

Bojo,

recovering your mojo?

You called Corbyn ‘a mutton-headed old mugwump,‘

but it’s uncool to preside over a parliament that’s only a ‘Rump.’

Boys’ Jobs?

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boys' jobs, clerihew, Philip May, Theresa May

Philip May,

soon you might have your say.

Theresa, for all her sins,

will have time to share the ‘boys’ jobs’ – and to take out the bins.

Magic Money Tree

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Amber Rudd, clerihew, magic money tree

 

(Rt Hon Amber Augusta Rudd, MP.  Image:

http://www.gov.uk)

 

Amber Rudd,

after that debate, your name was mud.

So patronising to talk about a magic money tree

that pays out to you and not to me!

Get down, Shep!

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clerihew, John Noakes, Shep

(John Noakes with Shep.  No known free use, but

unknown author/ copyright owner; low resolution image

and portrayed deceased as 28/5/17)

 

 

John Noakes,

you were one of those blokes

who could work with children AND animals; whose renown

was immortalised by your catchphrase: ‘Shep, get down!‘

The Saint

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clerihew, Roger Moore, Simon Templar

(Wikipedia title card image)

 

Sir Roger Moore,

I am very sure

that for suavity, you will always be held an exemplar –

especially in the role of Simon Templar.