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Candia Comes Clean

~ Candid cultural comments from the Isles of Wonder

Tag Archives: clerihew

Six Clerihews of the Moment

03 Thursday Feb 2022

Posted by Candia in Celebrities, Humour, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Social Comment, Writing

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Angela Rayner, Boris Johnson, clerihew, House of Commons, Keir Starmer, Lynne Truss, Pm's Question Time, Rishi Sunak, Satire

Lynne Truss,

What an embarrassing fuss!

She confused the Baltic and Black Sea.

Does she have Geography GCSE?

Boris Johnson, PM,

from whom the Tory Party and the country’s troubles stem,

knows all about ‘tragic miscalculation[s]’

and is woefully inept at international relations.

Angela Rayner,

lover of the biker boot and trainer,

called the Conservatives ‘scum.’

Maybe, some think, she wasn’t quite so dumb?

Keir Starmer,

we’d be misled if we called him a charmer-

inadvertently, or not, the Scots crofter was hot.

His principled stand eclipsed the whole lot.*

(in some people’s opinion)

Jacob Rees-Mogg,

Princeling of Pettifog?

Is that a silver spoon in the pocket of your pantaloon,

or are you pleased to see us, that you may bestow a boon?

Rishi Sunak.

is giving us £200 back.

‘Now, don’t bite the hand that feeds you,’ he may say.

No, we’ll leave that till the Election Day.

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A Clerihew For Our Times

21 Thursday Mar 2019

Posted by Candia in Humour, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Social Comment, Writing

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Beckett, clerihew, Mrs May

Oh, Mrs May,

what are we to do when there’s only one day

left, until we’re floundering,

jusqu’aux cous in merde; unable to sing?

 

 

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Dilly-Dallying?

20 Thursday Jul 2017

Posted by Candia in art, Celebrities, Family, News, Parenting, Photography, Poetry, Relationships, Social Comment, Writing

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Abel Martinez, clerihew, Dali, DNA, Port Ligat, Van Vechten photographs

Salvador Dalí 1939.jpg

(Carl Van Vechten, photographer. 

Library of Congress.  Wikipedia)

 

Salvador Dali,

Maria Pilar Abel Martinez claims that you got pally

with her mother at Port Ligat.

The DNA sample should sort out that.

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WASPI Women Stung by a Gnat

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by Candia in Community, Crime, Media, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Social Comment, Writing

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clerihew, Guy Opperman, mess of pottage, pensions Waspi women

 

Guy Opperman.jpg

(Guy Opperman MP)

 

Mr Opperman,

seems like you’d send out your gran

to shovel up your bull **** in her dotage,

because government denies her a mess of pottage.

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Holy Cow!

16 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by Candia in Celebrities, Crime, Film, Humour, Media, News, Nostalgia, Poetry, Social Comment, television, Writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Adam Wst, Batman, caped crusader, clerihew, dynamic duo

 

Adam West,

caped crusader, – in peace may you rest.

We need a dynamic duo to rescue us right now,

for our present leaders…… Holy cow!

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Rump Parliament

11 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by Candia in Celebrities, Humour, Media, News, Poetry, Politics, Relationships, Satire, Social Comment, Writing

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Bojo, Boris Johnson, clerihew, Corbyn, Rump Parliament

Boris Johnson FCA.jpg

(Boris Johnson, Secy of State for Foreign and

Commonwealth Affairs, 2016.  http://www.gov.uk)

 

Bojo,

recovering your mojo?

You called Corbyn ‘a mutton-headed old mugwump,‘

but it’s uncool to preside over a parliament that’s only a ‘Rump.’

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Boys’ Jobs?

10 Saturday Jun 2017

Posted by Candia in Humour, News, Poetry, Politics, Relationships, Social Comment, Writing

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boys' jobs, clerihew, Philip May, Theresa May

Philip May,

soon you might have your say.

Theresa, for all her sins,

will have time to share the ‘boys’ jobs’ – and to take out the bins.

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Magic Money Tree

10 Saturday Jun 2017

Posted by Candia in Humour, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Social Comment, Writing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Amber Rudd, clerihew, magic money tree

Amber Rudd 2016.jpg

 

(Rt Hon Amber Augusta Rudd, MP.  Image:

http://www.gov.uk)

 

Amber Rudd,

after that debate, your name was mud.

So patronising to talk about a magic money tree

that pays out to you and not to me!

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Get down, Shep!

29 Monday May 2017

Posted by Candia in Animals, Celebrities, News, Nostalgia, Poetry, Relationships, television, Writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

clerihew, John Noakes, Shep

John Noakes and Shep.jpg

(John Noakes with Shep.  No known free use, but

unknown author/ copyright owner; low resolution image

and portrayed deceased as 28/5/17)

 

 

John Noakes,

you were one of those blokes

who could work with children AND animals; whose renown

was immortalised by your catchphrase: ‘Shep, get down!‘

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The Saint

23 Tuesday May 2017

Posted by Candia in Celebrities, Film, James Bond films, Media, News, Poetry, Social Comment, television, Writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

clerihew, Roger Moore, Simon Templar

Image of The Saint matchstick man alongside series title

(Wikipedia title card image)

 

Sir Roger Moore,

I am very sure

that for suavity, you will always be held an exemplar –

especially in the role of Simon Templar.

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← Older posts

My name is Candia. Its initial consonant alliterates with “cow” and there are connotations with the adjective “candid.” I started writing this blog in the summer of 2012 and focused on satire at the start.

Interspersed was ironic news comment, reviews and poetry.

Over the years I have won some international poetry competitions and have published in reputable small presses, as well as reviewing and reading alongside well- established poets. I wrote under my own name then, but Candia has taken me over as an online persona. Having brought out a serious anthology last year called 'Its Own Place' which features poetry of an epiphanal nature, I was able to take part in an Arts and Spirituality series of lectures in Winchester in 2016.

Lately I have been experimenting with boussekusekeika, sestinas, rhyme royale, villanelles and other forms. I am exploring Japanese themes at the moment, my interest having been re-ignited by the recent re-evaluations of Hokusai.

Thank you to all my committed followers whose loyalty has encouraged me to keep writing. It has been exciting to meet some of you in the flesh- in venues as far flung as Melbourne and Sydney!

Copyright Notice

© Candia Dixon Stuart and Candiacomesclean.wordpress.com, 2012-2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Candia Dixon Stuart and candiacomesclean.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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