• About

Candia Comes Clean

~ Candid cultural comments from the Isles of Wonder

Tag Archives: Royal baby

You’ll Have Had Your Tea!

23 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Candia in Arts, Film, Humour, Literature, News, Social Comment, Suttonford, Writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

44 Scotland Street, Abbotsinch, Alexander McCall Smith, Auld Reekie, Chris Hoy, creme de la creme, Gardez Loo!, Glasgow airport, Kelvinside, Miss Cranston's, Miss Jean Brodie, Morningside, Muriel Spark, Mussolini, Royal baby, Sauchiehall Street, Valvona and Crolla, Willow Tea Rooms

Valvona & Crolla, Edinburgh

Chlamydia and I were back at our favourite haunt, the

Costamuchamoulah must-seen cafe in High Street,

Suttonford.  It seemed a million miles away from genteel Edinburgh

and the trendy Valvona and Crolla Vincaffe in the New Town.  Still, the

topic of conversation might have been identical: both sets of clientele

commenting on the amazing precocity of the new, Royal and (as yet)

nameless babe, who managed to wave endearingly from the woolly depths

of his swaddling.

THE NAMELESS ONE: Lang may its lum reek!

********************************

“SANDY”

AlexanderMcCallSmith.jpg

Alexander McCall Smith may have made a fortune from weaving the foibles

and fancies of the inhabitants of 44 Scotland Street into a fictional web, but

I, Candia Dixon Stuart, am seeking a publisher for my observations on the

activities and lifestyle choices of Suttonford’s fairest inhabitants.

Yes, as I told Clammie, Edinburgh folks are generally well-mannered, and,

even the homeless bow their heads discreetly while begging on the streets.

I observed a grubby, long-bearded man who was carrying a 4xlitre carton of

semi-skimmed- for it had been purchased in health-conscious Auld Reekie.

Around 2:30pm, the aforesaid stopped in front of his acquaintance, the beggar

with his bull terrier, and frankly expostulated:

I would have thought you’d have retired for the day by now.

Clearly he was concerned that his friend had not had his tea.

Staffordshire Bull Terrier 600.jpg

But, as I explained to Clammie, I had also

visited Central Scotland’s other city.

GlasgowAirportFromAir.jpg

How different is the patois of the Glaswegian!  On landing at Abbotsinch, or

Glasgow airport to the less au fait, even as we were instructed that it was only

now permissible to unfasten our seatbelts, enthusiastic locals were leaping up

to open the overhead lockers, in readiness for a speedy disembarkation which

would have impressed Chris Hoy.

Original movie poster for the film The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.jpg

I must have looked a little schoolmarmish, as the man who had been snoring

next to me for the duration, leapt up to reclaim his hand luggage, without any

apparent sign of chivalrous altruism.  But, judge not that ye be not judged; he

immediately looked down with Christian neighbourliness and regaled me with

this attentive interrogative:

Is that your hat ‘n that?

Aye, one has to look not on the outward appearance, but on the heart and,

rough quartzy Cairngorms though they have at their core, Kelvinside kindred

are just as likely, or perhaps more likely than the Morningside matrons, to

ensure that one will have had one’s refreshments, even if time is pressing

and there isn’t really time to linger:

You’ll surely take a wee moothfie a’ tea in your haun?

How disinhibited compared to the rather reserved partakers of creme de la

creme in the South’s Costamuchamoulah.  They probably think that Mussolini

is a shellfish starter and Gardez Loo! is a jardinage WC servicing the children’s

tree house and the gazebo.

Mussolini biografia.jpg

Ah, Miss Cranston’s Tea Rooms it isnae. Suttonford High Street will

never aspire to the drama of Sauchiehall Street and the Willow Tea

Rooms.

As one looks around, Muriel Sparks’ words come to mind:

Ah well, ..I often wonder if we [are] all characters in one of God’s dreams.

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

My name is Candia. Its initial consonant alliterates with “cow” and there are connotations with the adjective “candid.” I started writing this blog in the summer of 2012 and focused on satire at the start.

Interspersed was ironic news comment, reviews and poetry.

Over the years I have won some international poetry competitions and have published in reputable small presses, as well as reviewing and reading alongside well- established poets. I wrote under my own name then, but Candia has taken me over as an online persona. Having brought out a serious anthology last year called 'Its Own Place' which features poetry of an epiphanal nature, I was able to take part in an Arts and Spirituality series of lectures in Winchester in 2016.

Lately I have been experimenting with boussekusekeika, sestinas, rhyme royale, villanelles and other forms. I am exploring Japanese themes at the moment, my interest having been re-ignited by the recent re-evaluations of Hokusai.

Thank you to all my committed followers whose loyalty has encouraged me to keep writing. It has been exciting to meet some of you in the flesh- in venues as far flung as Melbourne and Sydney!

Copyright Notice

© Candia Dixon Stuart and Candiacomesclean.wordpress.com, 2012-2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Candia Dixon Stuart and candiacomesclean.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Recent Posts

  • Coln St Aldwyn Flooded Field
  • Wedding in Sydney, NSW
  • Vertical Slice from my Previous Painting
  • Poole Pottery Breakfast Set
  • Avian Interest Can Creep in…

Archives

  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012

Categories

  • Animals
  • Architecture
  • art
  • Arts
  • Autumn
  • Bible
  • Celebrities
  • Community
  • Crime
  • Education
  • Environment
  • Family
  • Fashion
  • Film
  • gardens
  • History
  • Home
  • Horticulture
  • Hot Wings
  • Humour
  • Industries
  • James Bond films
  • Jane Austen
  • Language
  • Literature
  • Media
  • Music
  • mythology
  • Nature
  • News
  • Nostalgia
  • Olympic Games
  • Parenting
  • Personal
  • Philosophy
  • Photography
  • Poetry
  • Politics
  • Psychology
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • Romance
  • Satire
  • Sculpture
  • short story
  • short story
  • Social Comment
  • Sociology
  • Sport
  • Spring
  • St Swithun's Day
  • Summer
  • Summer 2012
  • Supernatural
  • Suttonford
  • television
  • Tennis
  • Theatre
  • Travel
  • urban farm
  • White Horse
  • winter
  • Writing

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

acrylic acrylic painting acrylics Alex Salmond Andy Murray Ashmolean Australia Autumn barge black and white photography Blenheim Border Terrier Boris Johnson Bourbon biscuit boussokusekika Bradford on Avon Brassica British Library Buscot Park charcoal Charente choka clerihew Coleshill collage Cotswolds David Cameron dawn epiphany Fairford FT funghi Genji George Osborne Gloucestershire Golden Hour gold leaf Hampshire herbaceous borders Hokusai husband hydrangeas Jane Austen Kelmscott Kirstie Allsopp Lechlade Murasaki Shikibu mushrooms National Trust NSW Olympics Oxford Oxfordshire Pele Tower Pillow Book Prisma reflections Roger Federer Sculpture Shakespeare sheep Spring Spring flowers still life Suttonford Tale of Genji Thames Thames path Theresa May Victoria watercolour William Morris willows Wiltshire Winchester Cathedral

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,569 other subscribers

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Candia Comes Clean
    • Join 1,569 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Candia Comes Clean
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
%d bloggers like this: