Andrex, Beach Boys, flugelhorn, George Formby, Hark! the Herald Angels Sing, Harriet Harman, Hawaiian shirt, Orwell, PHSE, St Birinus, The Calypso Carol
It’s that time of year again, when anxious Suttonford parents await brown
envelopes with the Xmas Letter from the Head, next year’s Calendar of School
Events AND the booklet of reports which, they hope, will validate the great
expense that they have poured into their children’s education and which will
somehow prove that a silk purse can be made out of a sow’s ear, if sufficient
funds have been cast in the right direction. Bread has been cast on waters
which MIGHT return after many days.
It all depends, of course, on whether the precocious pupil remembers to
deliver the parentally-addressed missive from their backpack, so that an
inspection can be made regarding progress, or the lack thereof.
St Birinus Middle School December 2012
William Brewer-Mead (Bill)
Another hyperactive, but productive term for Bill. His Attention Deficit
Disorder could be seen to influence his pick n’ mix engagement with
the broader curriculum.
His Geography project on sustainability lacked focus, but evidenced
the predilections of a polymath. (Renaissance man was ever thus!)
If he could persuade himself of the value of physical stillness, he would
perform more consistently and with less impact on his peers.
Nevertheless, what was I saying? Oh dear, I seem to forget. Forgive
me. It’s been a lengthy term.
Ferdinand Brewer-Mead (Ferdy)
Ferdy’s PHSE essay: Ginger and Proud of It! gave the class much to consider
regarding the school yard persecution of minorities. His linguistic points on
gender difference: foxy lady (positive); ginger minger (pejorative) were
insightful and far-reaching. Cross-cultural relevance, an important assessment
objective, was achieved in the apposite integration of the Welsh proverb: os
bydd goch, fe fydd gythreulig. (We will take his word on the translation.)
Political comment was pertinent regarding Harriet Harman’s cruel comments
regarding rodents. Are rats our brothers? Orwell would have been proud of
1st for Science-well done! A*
N. M-H (PHSE Dept.)
John’s George Formby impersonation at the House Evening in November
was an example of ukulele playing at its finest. Some of the lyrics were
somewhat infused with innuendo which may have been considered
unsuitable for some of the Juniors in the audience, as one or two irate,
though perhaps narrow-minded, parents were prompt to point out.
John shines in solo work, as his 25% extra time allowance can detract
from the musical experience of other members of the school orchestra.
Science: 3rd. An admirable effort and a foundation which he can build
on as he contemplates future public examinations.
N. M-H (Form teacher)
Castor and Pollux Willoughby- Dual report Dec. 2012
Always adept at blowing his own trumpet, Castor’s flugelhorn fluctuations
added a triumphalist tone to the descant of Hark! the Herald Angels Sing
at the Carols n’ Collection for this term’s chosen charity: Curs In Crisis, outside
B&Q. He coped remarkably well when an inebriated member of the public
inconsiderately rammed a 2x roll packet of Andrex into his instrument.
Twin, Pollux, practised assiduously his marimba accompaniment to The Calypso
Carol for the Junior School Nativity play and showed that his sense of syncopation
and rhytm- (sic) is increasing.
His sporting of a Hawaiian shirt was interpreted as an attempt at ethnic
authenticity, but we beg to remind you that such garments do not conform
to our policies and regulations regarding school uniform.
PS- May I ask where one could buy one? I am such a fan of The Beach Boys.
Nigel Milford-Haven B.A. Hons., B.Ed.