• About

Candia Comes Clean

~ Candid cultural comments from the Isles of Wonder

Tag Archives: Gleneagles Hotel

Aside

Season of Mists

08 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Candia in Poetry, Social Comment

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Germany, Gleneagles Hotel, Golden Spurtle Award, Keats, Peebles, Porridge, Sassenach, Scotland, St Cross, To Autumn, Water Meadows, Winchester Cathedral

World Porridge Day.

You’d better get out there and sow some oats.

Was horrified to learn that The Golden Spurtle Award  for the best porridge in the world has been won by Benedict Horsburgh, an Englishman who now lives in Germany.  This was the 19th Championship and it is only the second time that it has been won by a foreigner, or Sassenach. Gleneagles’ Head Pastry Chef, Neil Mugg, was one of the judges and he should know a thing or two about that important first meal of the day, as his hotel won Breakfast of the Year Award (Large Hotel), 2012.

Benedict has graciously acknowledged that he is descended from Scottish roots- so that’s all right then!

I can trace my family back to the 1390s to the Peebles area,

he assured journalists.

Illustration of poem by John Keats by W. J. NeatbyAnd you certainly needed something warming for breakfast these last few misty mornings.  The cathedral near Suttonford felt distinctly chilly on Sunday morning and the walk through the Close reminded me of Keats and his poem: Ode to Autumn, which was inspired by his constitutional through the Close and all the way down the water meadows to St Cross.

Some years ago there was a competition to write a poem inspired by Keats and his walk and I felt the Muse nudge me into this mellow entry:

IF FOR A SEASON

Autumnal infernos blaze through the Close;

crimson creepers lick lintels like tongued flames.

Mellow masonry supports one last rose.

Choristers discover old conker games.

You can’t enjoy such salamandrine shows:

except from your grim ward, through heavy panes.

So many youths ago, Keats waxed verbose

about St. Cross, these misty college lanes.

You yearn for those, but Life has reached the sere,

the burnished leaf, and I suspect you know,

so squeeze your hand and try to transmit cheer:

your shrivelled face flushes a phoenix glow.

Portrait of romantic poet John Keats (1795-1821).

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

Match Point

17 Monday Sep 2012

Posted by Candia in History, Humour, News, Religion, Romance, Social Comment, Sport, Tennis

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Andrew Fairlie, Andy Murray, Chronicles of Narnia, Church of the Holy Rude, Dunblane, Dunblane Cathedral, Dunblane Hydro, Gleneagles Hotel

St Ninian’s Day.

Andy Murray at the 2008 US Open

Ninian died on 16th September, 432 AD.  He was the Apostle to the Southern Picts.  The cathedral in Perth is named after him, but I do not think Andy had time to leave Dunblane to light a wee tea-light in gratitude.  He had his own St Blane to attend to. Draped in a Saltire, the Muzzard was mobbed by local fans who had waited in the rain for him, perhaps hoping for a couple of years to be knocked off their personal purgatories.  He signed a few indulgences for his primary school followers.

English: Dunblane HydroI wonder if he went up to Dunblane Hydro, so disappointing now that it has had the Hilton chain treatment, with piped-and I don’t mean bagpiped- muzak-in its public lavatories.  The makeover style is nineties corporate, so I do not think that they will get the wedding booking.  Serves them right.

I expect that Andy’s moody black and white photograph will join the other portraits of Famous Scots in the bar. The Husband and I relaxed on some very comfy, squidgy sofas in the said area and waited, almost as long as it took Andy to win his first Grand Slam, for a coffee and hot chocolate.  The latter (no, I meant latter, not latte) arrived with marshmallows-a kind gesture-, but, believe you me, if you want mallows, haste ye back to The Gleneagles Hotel and Andrew Fairlie will convert you for life.  Anything else is a Marshwiggle (see Chronicles of Narnia).

Dunblane Cathedral would be the perfect second best option to The Church of the Holy Rude, Stirling (as mentioned in previous postings), for Andy’s Coronation. Sorry, I meant marriage.  Friends of Dunblane Cathedral could add a new misericord to the fantastic set that they already have there.  Since there is a quirkily carved bat on one, why not have a modern racquet on a commemorative seat, specially carved for Andy to sit on whenever he visits to take up his Freedom of the City?  If Kim needs to sit beside him, they could always get a local craftsman to carve a cute little Border terrier for her particular throne.  Maybe they would need three extra seats, if mummy always comes along, so she could have a raven or a dagger on hers.

But what if Kim wants to wed down south, in Wimbledon, or Surrey?  What if she judges Andy to be a bit of a skinnymalinkylonglegs for a kilt? Pity, as a sporran would be just the job for him to keep a couple of tennis balls to the ready, for throwing to his retinue after the service.  Kim might have to realise that she is marrying a legend (You’re epic, Andy, the banners read.)  Like Ruth in the Old Testament, his people might have to become her people.  Certainly his god has already had to become hers.

So, she’d better have a sprig of white heather in her bouquet and sport a Murray tartan garter.  Maybe she will be drummed through Dunblane and chained to the railings with a chamber pot placed in front of her, to pick up a nuptial collection, in the auld tradition.  Or she may simply lodge her wedding list at Jenner’s, Edinburgh:

2 gold feeding bowls with Olympic rings (engraved) – presumably for the dogs

Saltire champion-sized duvet set

Gold frame for Lendl photo

American fridge filled with Irn-Bru

Deep fat fryer for Mars Bars

Judy annexe

Kim annexe

New DVD player..

I wonder if Andrew Fairlie will be asked to do the catering?

Fairlie: and how do you like your deep fried Mars Bar?

Andy: Saignant, I think..  No, a point.

Fairlie: For you, Andy, it will be match point.  Eh, and how do you like your Border terrier?

Andy: Medium rare, I think.

Deep-fried Mars bars

© Candia Dixon Stuart and Candiacomesclean.wordpress.com, 2012

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

I Am What I Ate

15 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by Candia in Humour, News, Social Comment, Sport, television

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Andrew Fairlie, Commonwealth Games, Cullen Skink, Glasgow, Gleneagles Hotel, Irn Bru, Jammie Dodgers, Loch Fyne, Rab C Nesbitt, Scotland

The Commonwealth Games are coming to Glasgow in 2014 and more than 2 million meals will have to be prepared for athletes, officials, staff and spectators.  However, Ah hae ma doots that the 100 plus tonnes of fruit and veg that are being ordered will necessarily go doon a treat.

Save the Children co-ordinator, Malcolm Clark, has been reported as saying that there should be a junk food ban.  Many will respond:  Ach, away an’ bile yer heid.

Rural Affairs Secretary, Richard Lochhead said: 

There will be unprecedented opportunities to showcase the magnificent produce Scotland has to offer.

English: Chef Andrew Fairlie and his brigade a...

There will be a Food and Drink AGM in Perth, so close to Andrew Fairlie’s eponymous restaurant at The Gleneagles Hotel. However, I don’t think his signature lobster dish- its shell smoked in whisky, as if you didn’t know, will be featured in the biodegradable cardboard takeaway dishes of the Games themselves.  Nor do I see Celtic Fish and Game and all things feathered and sustainable being up there in the hot desires of Rab C Nesbitt and Co.

Candia was once a student at a Scottish University, in the gloaming of time and so she can recall seeing some graffiti sprayed on the exterior of the students’ refectory and it read:

You Are What You Eat

And that is a very frightening concept.

Just over a week ago now, I was contemplating a journey north and felt compelled to express in verse my anticipation of the culinary delights of Alba.

A pack of Jammie DodgersI Am What I Ate

I’m returning to the land of shortbread-

(Petticoat Tails, the Peek Frean Custard Cream)-

where, for many years I had ingested

more Jammie Dodgers than in sweet-toothed dream;

Lorne sausage, Stovies, Co-op jam

stirred into semolina, mutton pies,

mince n’ tatties, neeps, pan peeces, flaccid Spam,

school custard, tablet- then, to appetise,

Black Bun.  If I felt a wee bit faddy;

Barr’s Irn Bru, a Paterson oatcake

with a Loch Fyne kipper; a Finnan haddie

gar’d me grue. Bottles of ginger would slake

my thirst and, if I was in a paddy,

you could shut me up wi’ a soor green ploom.

On Fridays we had something Ruskolined,

Cock-a-Leekie, Clootie Dumpling, sheep’s womb,

Tunnock’s wafers, Lees’ Snowballs, but now weaned

off those pokes of chips, black pudding slices,

I spread my Low Fat Flora very thin.

Childhood diet no longer entices,

yet I am what I ate- there’s nae denying

the place the skillet had in all our hearts.

Arteries were clogged through constant frying

by strangers to the culinary arts.

But Scots wha hae wi’ Wallace bled don’t shrink

fae food wae names like bannock, Cullen Skink.

Clootie dumpling

© Candia Dixon Stuart and Candiacomesclean.wordpress.com, 2012

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

My name is Candia. Its initial consonant alliterates with “cow” and there are connotations with the adjective “candid.” I started writing this blog in the summer of 2012 and focused on satire at the start.

Interspersed was ironic news comment, reviews and poetry.

Over the years I have won some international poetry competitions and have published in reputable small presses, as well as reviewing and reading alongside well- established poets. I wrote under my own name then, but Candia has taken me over as an online persona. Having brought out a serious anthology last year called 'Its Own Place' which features poetry of an epiphanal nature, I was able to take part in an Arts and Spirituality series of lectures in Winchester in 2016.

Lately I have been experimenting with boussekusekeika, sestinas, rhyme royale, villanelles and other forms. I am exploring Japanese themes at the moment, my interest having been re-ignited by the recent re-evaluations of Hokusai.

Thank you to all my committed followers whose loyalty has encouraged me to keep writing. It has been exciting to meet some of you in the flesh- in venues as far flung as Melbourne and Sydney!

Copyright Notice

© Candia Dixon Stuart and Candiacomesclean.wordpress.com, 2012-2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Candia Dixon Stuart and candiacomesclean.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Recent Posts

  • Geisha in the Garden
  • On the Wing
  • Rape Seed Field at Sunset (and In Full Sun)
  • Buscot Park Azalea in Bloom
  • Deep Purple

Archives

  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012

Categories

  • Animals
  • Architecture
  • art
  • Arts
  • Autumn
  • Bible
  • Celebrities
  • Community
  • Crime
  • Education
  • Environment
  • Family
  • Fashion
  • Film
  • gardens
  • History
  • Home
  • Horticulture
  • Hot Wings
  • Humour
  • Industries
  • James Bond films
  • Jane Austen
  • Language
  • Literature
  • Media
  • Music
  • mythology
  • Nature
  • News
  • Nostalgia
  • Olympic Games
  • Parenting
  • Personal
  • Philosophy
  • Photography
  • Poetry
  • Politics
  • Psychology
  • Relationships
  • Religion
  • Romance
  • Satire
  • Sculpture
  • short story
  • short story
  • Social Comment
  • Sociology
  • Sport
  • Spring
  • St Swithun's Day
  • Summer
  • Summer 2012
  • Supernatural
  • Suttonford
  • television
  • Tennis
  • Theatre
  • Travel
  • urban farm
  • White Horse
  • winter
  • Writing

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

acrylic acrylic painting acrylics Alex Salmond Andy Murray Ashmolean Australia Autumn barge Blenheim blossom Border Terrier Boris Johnson Bourbon biscuit boussokusekika Bradford on Avon Brassica British Library Buscot Park charcoal Charente choka clerihew Cotswolds David Cameron dawn epiphany Fairford France FT funghi Genji George Osborne Gloucestershire Golden Hour gold leaf Hampshire herbaceous borders Hokusai husband hydrangeas Jane Austen Kelmscott Kirstie Allsopp Lechlade Murasaki Shikibu mushrooms National Trust NSW Olympics Oxford Oxfordshire Pele Tower Pillow Book Prisma reflections Roger Federer Sculpture Shakespeare sheep Spring Spring flowers still life Suttonford Tale of Genji Thames Thames path Theresa May Victoria watercolour William Morris willows Wiltshire Winchester Cathedral winter

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,575 other followers

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Candia Comes Clean
    • Join 1,575 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Candia Comes Clean
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
%d bloggers like this: