Photos by Candia Dixon-Stuart
Eat your hearts out Constable and Turner!
24 Monday Aug 2020
Posted Environment, Nature, Photography
in26 Sunday Jul 2015
Posted Architecture, Family, History, Literature, Music, Photography, Poetry, Religion, short story
inTags
Browning, catatonia, Cheshire Cat, Chilmark stone, Comus, Constable, diabolical possession, Dinton, glow-worms, Grovely Wood, Lawes masque, ledger stone, oak apple, Phillips House, Rev Dodgson, Salisbury Cathedral, St Osmond, Wilts, Wylye Valley
The late afternoon sun mellowed the creamy Chilmark stone of St
Osbert’s Anglican Church. It was the same stone that Constable had
painted so warmly when he depicted Salisbury Cathedral.
The vicar had glanced at the latest entry in the Visitors’ Book, before
wandering into the churchyard.
Howard Lawes, MD, Alabama, he pondered.
Dr Lawes appeared to be a typical American tourist, judging by the
inordinate amount of camera equipment that he was carrying. His
surname was ringing bells, but not in a campanological fashion, for the
vicar. Wasn’t it the same name that was to be found on many of the
gravestones in Dinton?
The visitor was in the unhallowed burial section, adjusting his lenses and
trying to capture a special view of the steeple. This had caused many a
photographer of lesser ability to flatten the wildflowers which grew
profusely in its shade.
Good afternoon! greeted the Rev Dodgson. I believe you are a long way
from home? This was a tried and tested opening gambit which may have
given some an impression of his virtual omniscience and benevolence.
Yes- and no, drawled the complex and surprisingly pale Dr Lawes,
in an expansive non-British fashion. Yes, I am from Alabama, but my
roots are right here in the Wylye Valley. I visited Philipps House this
morning and, in conversation, discovered quite a bit about my ancestors
and their Royalist connections.
Lawes… the vicar pondered. Ah, the Comus link. Have you had musical
genes passed down to you?
Sadly not, replied the photographer, screwing the lens cap back onto his
camera. But I could have sworn that I was seeing creatures from my
namesake’s masque in your churchyard. It may have been a trick of the
light, but a curious presence seemed to follow me around and then I saw
what looked like a human mouth begin to materialise. It quite unnerved
me. To tell you the truth, I’m glad to see someone else is here. But
maybe I’m becoming paranoid. Am I? he joked, unconvincingly.
How would one ever know if one was mad? retorted the Rev Dodgson,
lapsing into his tedious habit of responding to difficult questions by
posing further interrogatives. I could quote MY namesake and add
‘You must be mad to come here.’ However, the fact is, Dr Lawes…
Howard, please, interrupted the American.
The Rev Dodgson ignored this plea and continued,…the fact is, you
have just espied our resident ghost, Risus Sardonicus. The Latin
suggests a male gender, but I can assure you that she…
Why doesn’t he just say ‘you have just seen’? Lawes thought to
himself. Aloud, he repeated: She?
Yes, she has similarities to that phantom feline, The Cheshire Cat,
but she is less forthcoming. You are not the first to have been sneered
at by Mary Norton, she of the distinctively green eyes, which some have
assigned to glow-worm activity. However, the stare often comes from an
elevation that not many animals could scale.
(Photo: Timo Newton-Syms, Flickr)
Do we know anything about this Mary Norton?
You were practically standing over the spot where we believe she was
buried, replied Dodgson. It is an unmarked grave, so you were not to
know. Maybe she doesn’t appreciate being trampled on. This was intended
to be a mild plaisanterie.
I’m sure I didn’t intend to desecrate anyone’s resting place, apologised
Lawes, who was unsure of English irony. Only, the view of the steeple,
with Grovelly Wood in the background, was so photogenic.
Indeed. You couldn’t have known. As one of our dramatists has said:
‘Youth emits smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.’
Don’t regard it as an expression of personal animosity. She does it all
the time as she was not too keen on how our parishioners treated her.
I think she would have preferred to have been buried with certain of
her relatives-over there.
Is that why she’s restless? postulated the tourist, placing his heavy
camera bag on a ledger stone and then thinking better of it and laying
it more respectfully on the grass.
Hmmm…Yes. I don’t think people like to be publicly excommunicated.
Apparently, Mary had an unfortunate habit of bursting into totally
inappropriate laughter at Eucharist and other services. The locals thought
she was demon-possessed. She would rock back and forth…
Catatonia?
The vicar ignored the interruption: …emitting guttural noises, her
tongue lolling. Maybe the girl was ‘touched’ but these were less
tolerant times. People were quick to detect blasphemy. No one knows
the precise manner of her death. Her body was discovered in Grovelly
Wood. She’d been exercising her ancient right to collect free firewood.
I think she died on May 29th, Oak Apple Day, in 1865. All the youngsters
used to go to Salisbury and dance on the lawns in The Close. Then
they’d lay oak boughs on the altar. I forget why.
Well, there she lies- or doesn’t. I could say with my favourite poet,
Browning: Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt, whenever I passed her;
but who passed without much the same smile? Unfortunately, though
commands have been given, the smiles don’t stop altogether.
Lawes was tiring of the literary references, but he had been thinking
very hard during this expatiation.
Poor Mary Norton! he reflected. No wonder she is so unquiet. Her ears
have not yet materialised, so perhaps she will not hear my thoughts on
the matter. I can assure you, sir, that there was no question of diabolical
possession.
(Photo of oak apple by Bob Embleton)
to be continued…!
29 Sunday Mar 2015
Tags
Arundells, Babel, Bishop's Stall, Chapter House, Constable, Creme egg, Dom Perignon, Easter, Jobseekers, Julian of Norwich, Living Water, Mammon, Mocha, National Trust, New Sarum, Old Sarum, Palm Sunday, patens, Pontius Pilate, Salisbury, Simnel cake, Ted Heath, University Challenge, Yasser Arafat
A re-blog as it is timely:
I can’t believe that it’s nearly Easter, shivered Carrie.
Quick! let’s go in and bag a table, I said.
Costamuchamoulah cafe was still doing a brisk trade, even on this
grey day. Amazingly, the smokers were still prepared to sit outside.
We have the routine down to a fine art now: one gets into the queue while
the other nabs a table, much as the disciples snatched a colt.
Yes, Easter’s early this year, I commented, watching a child stuff its face with
a Creme Egg in advance of the Christian calendar. It’s amazing how such
diminutive creatures can incorporate a whole orb of sickly chocolate fondant
into such a tiny aperture.
I bet they don’t know what Simnel cakes represent, I mused aloud.
What do they stand for? queried Carrie. Then, seeing my expression, she
added, I’m sure I once knew.
That’s what I say during University Challenge, I replied.
Then I sipped my Mocha, getting a chocolate powder moustache. You know,
it’s Palm Sunday tomorrow. Are you going to go to a service?
Try persuading that lot to get out of bed, she sighed. They used to like to see
the donkey coming into the church, though. Sometimes they were convinced
that The Dean, giving his dramatised reading, was Pontius Pilate and it scared
them.
Yes, we used to go to Salisbury for the service. That was when Ted Heath
lived in The Close. In fact..
..you have a poem about it, she smiled.
How did you know?
PALM SUNDAY IN SALISBURY
Polythene wraps New Sarum like an egg.
The sky above The Close is Constable’s.
Cream-robed clergy congregate in cloisters,
bespectacled, brandishing dried gray palms,
under a spire as tall as Babel’s own,
while new choristers mouth All glory, laud
and honour.. without comprehending laud.
The tallest lad hopes that his voice won’t crack.
Girl choristers have not been asked to sing today.
Some miniature Yasser Arafats
in tea-towels and trainers coax an ass
from a spreading cedar into the nave,
where all present pray for its continence.
True blue glass provides a continuo.
Ted Heath’s Jaguar, also blue, is parked
on a reserved space outside Arundells.
What if one should loose its handbrake
and say, The Lord has need of thee this day?
Meanwhile we make intercession for all
unemployed, under and over-employed,
while carefully noting the advertised
champagne breakfast on our service schedule.
Dom Perignon: a foretaste of glory.
The Jobseekers can sip Living Water.
Coffee will be served in the Chapter House
among the exhumed coffin chalices,
patens. The bookshop is doing business
in postcards of Julian of Norwich:
All manner of thing shall be well. Mammon
hasn’t felt stings from His whip of cords-yet.
The head which indicates the Bishop’s stall
has a triple face of circumspection.
The Dean and his ordained wife wear the same
as they stand on repro medieval tiles,
trying not to worry about their lunch.
In the cloisters a chill wind chafes faces.
A chair is overturned, but no tables.
Although we have received the sign of peace,
our palm crosses seem ineffectual.
We stick one on Ted’s windscreen, just in case
his residential permit cuts no ice
with the flaming Being at the Close gate,
who curiously doesn’t wear a badge,
but bears authority from Old Sarum.
He tends to let the backpackers pass through,
like Christians, still bearing their large burdens,
or as camels accessing a needle.
But Tory Faithful have to wait in queues,
backs turned to the Celestial City,
while Peter checks their National Trust cards
and the very stones cry, Glory! Glory!
23 Saturday Mar 2013
Posted Poetry, Religion, Suttonford, television
inTags
Arundells, Bruckner, Chapter House, Constable, Creme egg, Dom Perignon, Holy week, Julian of Norwich, Mocha, Old Sarum, Palm Sunday, Pontius Pilate, Salisbury, Simnel cake, Ted Heath, Tower of Babel, University Challenge
I can’t believe that it’s nearly Easter, shivered Carrie.
Quick! let’s go in and bag a table, I said.
Costamuchamoulah cafe was still doing a brisk trade, even on this
grey day. Amazingly, the smokers were still prepared to sit outside.
We have the routine down to a fine art now: one gets into the queue while
the other nabs a table, much as the disciples snatched a colt.
Yes, Easter’s early this year, I commented, watching a child stuff its face with
a Creme Egg in advance of the Christian calendar. It’s amazing how such
diminutive creatures can incorporate a whole orb of sickly chocolate fondant
into such a tiny aperture.
I bet they don’t know what Simnel cakes represent, I mused aloud.
What do they stand for? queried Carrie. Then, seeing my expression, she
added, I’m sure I once knew.
That’s what I say during University Challenge, I replied.
Then I sipped my Mocha, getting a chocolate powder moustache. You know,
it’s Palm Sunday tomorrow. Are you going to go to a service?
Try persuading that lot to get out of bed, she sighed. They used to like to see
the donkey coming into the church, though. Sometimes they were convinced
that The Dean, giving his dramatised reading, was Pontius Pilate and it scared
them.
Yes, we used to go to Salisbury for the service. That was when Ted Heath
lived in The Close. In fact..
..you have a poem about it, she smiled.
How did you know?
PALM SUNDAY IN SALISBURY
Polythene wraps New Sarum like an egg.
The sky above The Close is Constable’s.
Cream-robed clergy congregate in cloisters,
bespectacled, brandishing dried gray palms,
under a spire as tall as Babel’s own,
while new choristers mouth All glory, laud
and honour.. without comprehending laud.
The tallest lad hopes that his voice won’t crack.
Girl choristers have not been asked to sing today.
Some miniature Yasser Arafats
in tea-towels and trainers coax an ass
from a spreading cedar into the nave,
where all present pray for its continence.
True blue glass provides a continuo.
Ted Heath’s Jaguar, also blue, is parked
on a reserved space outside Arundells.
What if one should loose its handbrake
and say, The Lord has need of thee this day?
Meanwhile we make intercession for all
unemployed, under and over-employed,
while carefully noting the advertised
champagne breakfast on our service schedule.
Dom Perignon: a foretaste of glory.
The Jobseekers can sip Living Water.
Coffee will be served in the Chapter House
among the exhumed coffin chalices,
patens. The bookshop is doing business
in postcards of Julian of Norwich:
All manner of thing shall be well. Mammon
hasn’t felt stings from His whip of cords-yet.
The head which indicates the Bishop’s stall
has a triple face of circumspection.
The Dean and his ordained wife wear the same
as they stand on repro medieval tiles,
trying not to worry about their lunch.
In the cloisters a chill wind chafes faces.
A chair is overturned, but no tables.
Although we have received the sign of peace,
our palm crosses seem ineffectual.
We stick one on Ted’s windscreen, just in case
his residential permit cuts no ice
with the flaming Being at the Close gate,
who curiously doesn’t wear a badge,
but bears authority from Old Sarum.
He tends to let the backpackers pass through,
like Christians, still bearing their large burdens,
or as camels accessing a needle.
But Tory Faithful have to wait in queues,
backs turned to the Celestial City,
while Peter checks their National Trust cards
and the very stones cry, Glory! Glory!