Brassica laughed, It’s the English teacher in you. You
can’t stop relating everything to literature.
I know, but hark at this. Et tu, Brute and all that!
I pushed my scribblings over the table, for her to read.
Boris: If there be any in this assembly,
any dear friend of Cameron’s, to him say
that Boris’ love to Cameron was no less than his.
If then that friend demand why Boris rose against
Cameron, this is my answer:
Not that I loved Cameron less,
but that I loved Britain more….as he was
valiant, I honour him: but as
he was ambitious, I slew him.
Here comes his corpse,
mourned by those who shall receive
the benefits of his dying:
a place in Parliament. With this I depart,
pleading that I slew my Bullingdon pal,
for Britain’s good.
Citizen;: This Cameron was a traitor.
Osborne: Friends, MPs, Countrymen, lend me your wallets.
The noble Boris hath told you Cameron was ambitious.
If it were so, it was a grievous fault
and grievously hath Cameron answered it.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me,
but Boris says he was ambitious- and Boris is an honourable man.
Cameron brought favours back from Brussels,
whose ransoms the general coffers might have filled.
When the poor have cried, Cameron hath wept.
You all did love him once, not without cause.
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts
and men have lost their reason.
Citizen: I fear there will a worse come in his place.
Osborne: Yesterday the word of Cameron might
have influenced the world; now lies he there.
You all know Gove and Boris are honourable men.
And here’s a parchment with the seal of Cameron.
Let but The Commons hear this testament.
Some may go and kiss dead Cameron’s wounds-
yea, beg a law of him for memory
and, dying, mention it within their wills,
bequeathing it as a rich legacy unto their issue.
I fear I wrong the honourable men
whose daggers have stabb’d Cameron.
Citizens: They are traitors!
Osborne: Boris, as you know, was Cameron’s angel,
so this is the most unkindest cut of all.
Citizens: Let’s hear his bequest!
Osborne: To every British citizen he gives 75 drachmas.
Citizen: Most noble Cameron! We’ll avenge his death.
Osborne: Now mischief, thou art afoot.
Take what course you will.
Act 4 tbc