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(Photo: Edible Dormouse: Michael Hanselmann;



Have just won 3rd Prize with this at The Buxton International

Festival and Book Weekend, Nov 24th, 2017…..



We’re Die Siebenschlafer – The Seven Sleepers;

the fat, Continental cousins let loose

on Tring, from a Rothschild menagerie.

(Yes, we broke out of his glilaria

and formed menages ad infinity.)

A Mad Hatter invited us to come,

but we were the wrong sort, right from the start.


Delicacies, we are quite edible,

not like those pink, or white sugar rodents,

but are establishing our own Empire,

while the Romans, who ate us, are long gone.

Those deep-fried insults are deep-dyed in us:

an elephant never forgets.  It’s said

that we mice are its closest relative.



We estivate and hibernate: that’s true.

And we sleep (dormir) hidden from your view –

remove your kitchen kickboards and you’ll see!

We appropriate the nests of others,

or a box some tit has tied to a tree.

We power nap under duvets till Spring.

Fermented fruit gives us a boozy snooze.

At three weeks, our offspring will see daylight.

We chuck them out before they’re a month old

and we don’t suffer empty nest syndrome.


If The Border Police catch us by the tails,

we slough them off and go back underground.

We furry refugees from Hungary

are hungry and upwardly mobile too,

aspiring to lifestyles arboreal.


We have no respect for native culture

and will gnaw away at your church candles.

This is immigration on a grand scale.

We can’t be stopped, as a Protected Species.

Invasion is just a fact of Nature.

The world will have a rude awakening.

Wachet auf!  Don’t drowse to your extinction,

for the meek/mouse may inherit the Earth.