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Chlamydia had returned from her holiday and invited me to partake of the

grindings of the bean at Costamuchamoulah cafe, with the barely

suppressed motivation of revealing  the wonders of her daughter,

Scheherezade’s examination results.

I was about to say, Don’t tell me- she got a full set of A*s, before stifling

a yawn, when I thought better of it.  Oh, the wisdom of increasing age.

She and Tiger-Lily got straight A*s, you know, beamed the proud parent.

Let’s celebrate with a cookie.

How did that awful girl, Juniper do?

This was the wrong enquiry.

Oh.  Actually I bumped into her mother- Gisela, I think she said her name

was.  She told me that the school had received a letter from the Exam Board

to the effect that Juniper had scored one of the top marks in the country for

her Art project.

What was so special about it? I asked, between mouthfuls of cookie crumbs.

Apparently she knitted a royal baby, complete with crown and cradle, but

used black wool to subvert expectations.  She photographed it yarn-bombed

to the memorial in The Mall.  She had crotcheted a complete Royal family and

had attached a sign to her installation which said:  Race, Gender, Religion:

No Bar To Succession.

It’s  a wonder she didn’t get arrested, I said.

No, it seems to have been very well received by The Suttonford Chronicle,

as her photo is on the front page.  She’s had an unconditional offer from The

Slade for 2016.

What’s happening with Carrie and Gyles?

Oh, they are still away.  Alyona didn’t go with them.  She decided to go

over to Normandy to see Ola and Jean-Paul, to help with their new baby,

Georges.

Is it only a year since the twinning trip with Bric-a-Brac? I was aghast at how

tempus fugits.

Yes, laughed Clammie.  Remember when Carrie thought Jean-Paul had fallen

for Ginevra?  I mean, a ninety year old gin drinker pulling a French widower!

Priceless!

When are Brassie and Cosmo back?

Oh, they returned yesterday and had to go to the kennels straight away.

The twins missed Andy so much.  Apparently he has been a real pain and was

hyper-excited when he was reunited with them.  He sank his teeth into all the

French cheeses they had brought back from the hypermarket.

Plus ca change, I muttered.

Border Terrier.jpg

Brassie said the boys had bumped into one of their teachers in the Loire. 

They said they were grossed out by the sight of the old boy holding hands

with a woman in the Gardens of Love at Villandray.  They said Bonjour to

him, but he just blanked them.

Well, I tried to make some sort of defence, Teachers are surely entitled to

some degree of privacy in their holidays. I wonder which master it was,

I cogitated.  It wouldn’t have been that grumpy old Mr Snodbury?  I had

heard so many tales of his curmudgeonly behaviour from Castor, Pollux and

Rollo, Ferdy and Co.

I think that was the name, actually, she replied, beginning to lose interest.

They said they recognised his domed head.  He stupidly wasn’t wearing a hat

and his head was pretty sunburnt.  There was another woman with them who

looked incredibly like him, as if he was in drag.

x

Maybe it was Alastair Sim, I laughed.  You know, maybe Snod has a

sister.  Anyway, it was hardly likely to be a menage a trois, was it?

Hopefully not, she said. That really would gross anyone out!

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