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Dull and cool, but dry.  I suppose we should count our blessings.  At least we are not burnt to cinders in Marbella or incubating Hunter virus contracted from a holiday stay in log cabins in Yosemite.

Don’t you just hate smug people telling you to count your blessings- especially when you are sinking into The Slough of Despond and they are planning their third cruise in as many months?English: At the Slough of Despond, Slough Burn...

But, if you were Count von Count from Sesame Street, you would adore enumerating the little positives in your day-to-day existence.Count Von Count Imagine him having a literal field day at the County Show when La Allsopp enters her baking efforts in all four categories:

One, two camera crews,

three,  four becoming a bore;

five, six, old dog; old tricks; 

seven, eight- rabbits a-mate;

nine, ten a big fat hen

has just waltzed off with all the prizes.

The Count’s bats were called Grisha, Misha, Sasha and Tatiana.  Their names will shortly be appearing in a kindergarten near you.  He also had a cat called Fatatita.  Maybe he was not keen on Kirstie A.

The Count’s girlfriends were Countess Backwards- don’t worry, she liked to count in reverse. This could have earned her positive discrimination in any Maths exam, as evidence of Special Needs.

His other enamorata was Countess Dahling von Dahling and she was last seen entering Costamuchamoulah in Suttonford, where she ordered a Wallis Simpson latte.  Plenty of The Anything People frequent such establishments- you know, the faceless muppets who could be anything you wanted them to be: Guy Smiley or, the lavender ones, such as Smart Tina, or the Various Kids.


The Count used to hypnotise people by waving his hand and stunning them.  Surely the police might study this technique to prevent them from shoving helpless, old newspaper sellers to the ground?

© Candia Dixon Stuart and Candiacomesclean.wordpress.com, 2012